Been a while since I've been around here in my blog space. I seem to have stepped off my soapbox while I was sorting a few things out.
What a Year.
I, for the first time in my adult life (save maternity leaves), worked part time. I finished a Diploma in Positive Psychology and Wellbeing . Instead of rushing back to classroom and adrenaline full-time as planned, I took a sharp left turn. As I was sitting in the woods Alone (well, actually I has 3 small girl with me but all you parents out there know that's not the same as connecting with grown ups) and I thought- maybe I won't go back to the adult world as I know it. Forget the suit jackets and 8am meetings and being to exhausting to think at the end of the day. Forget about the importance of sick days and regular income for regular hours. Forget routine. Forget a lifestyle that requires caffeine and sugar to sustain itself. (though I'm ready to not forgot about those 2 old friends altogether just yet).
So I took a leap- I've had some minor success sharing my teaching knowledge and psych background with other educators in the country. I am a firm believer that something needs to change in how we are support our youth, especially as society is changing so rapidly. I decided to start my own business (you can read a bit about that here: Adapting Brains) and what a roller coaster so far. I am very lucky to have almost immediately connected with some amazing women in the field who whether they like it or not have become some pretty impressed role models and mentors. After years of working my ass off for The Man or 'a man', literally, I'm see what it's like to work as hard for myself as I do for someone else's vision.
Is it exciting? Yes!
Financially rewarding? Kinda. (let me pos. psych this: Not as I'd like YET. Shout out to Dweck!)
Am I'm glad I'm trying? Yes!
Life's many pathways overwhelm me sometimes: How do I do this thing called Life right? I'm a stickler for 'the rules' and for years friends have ridiculed my obsession with dental hygiene and called me the 'moral compass'. Do I be sensible, reliable, and return to a permanent safe job with sick leave, cool colleagues and enough money to sustain my large family? Or do I take a risk and see what happens? Can I do both?
Just before I got married, my dad, in his earnest wisdom said, "Life too short to marry someone you don't like."
To which I replied, "But if life is really long should I marry a dick?" I mean you have to live with the consequences so much longer.
The questions I use to ask myself what I should do in big life decisions goes like this:
If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, will I regret how I spent my day?
If I have to live until I'm 99, will I regret how I spent today?
What is the real cost- emotionally, physically, socially?
(although to be honest, I usually start with financially).
And sometimes I don't ask myself any questions and I just live by default until one day, out of the blue on a Tuesday afternoon I just say, "F**k this, let's see what happens over there." So some of my "worst" decisions have been my best.
Maybe it doesn't matter if I make the "right" call? Just as long as I'm willing to make a new call later.
So far this call involved a lot of beach walks, reading and time with my kids. That can't be a bad thing, right??